Dipper turns his head just enough to look at the guy, then narrows his eyes but it's not just because of the guy staring. It's that...this seems familiar. It seems like something Mabel has probably read or watched.

"He's improbably good-looking, but also overly intense and weirdly pasty. He isn't eating food in front of everyone else..."

He didn't have a tray or a packed lunch or anything.

"Weirdly colored eyes..."

He looks back to Pidge and raises his eyebrows.

"He's probably a vampire," he says matter-of-factly, very quietly, in case the vampire has magically good hearing. "Which means this is one of those creepy stories where the vampire guy practically stalks a teenage girl 300 years younger than him and it's supposed to be all romantic or something."

He waves a hand vaguely.

"We should figure out a way to stake him." He looks around the cafeteria. "Do you see anything made of wood?"