Falling into the persona of someone disillusioned, abused, and desperate was admittedly a far easier task than when he'd forced himself to spend time impersonating his genetic original. He already had traits that worked for this role and required no embellishment; an innate distrust, wariness of anyone who got too close, and his general cold demeanor, all lent themselves to someone who'd been through everything he supposedly had. He barely needed to act at all beyond keeping his story straight.
It was to a point that he wondered if that was at least somewhat intentional. He didn't know much about Pidge, or if their shared background matched her at all, but in particular, the bit of their story that involved being forced to kill their own siblings felt as if it hit a little too close to home to just be coincidental. But intentional or not, the closer the deception was to the truth the easier it was to hold up the act, and when they were asked to explain their reason for coming here, it was an easy emotional well to draw from to bring up what the empath would be looking for.
"We managed to escaped from Rizak 7, but-..." He paused, both a little unsure of how to word what needed to be said and honestly wanting to avoid it. After a pause, he decides to press past it for now, even if it only gave him a few extra secants. He keeps his voice soft and measured, his expression unaffected as he spoke up again. "We were supposed to get help from the UP. Get them to listen to us about what was happening there. That was the whole point, the only reason I went through with it. But when they did listen they refused to do anything. Some of the people I spoke with acted as if I should just be grateful we were out, as if the rest of our planet shouldn't matter to me anymore." There's another pause and this time there's no more getting around it. Dredging up thoughts of his attempt on Bart's life hardly took any conscious effort. The moment was still too fresh in his mind, the psychological wounds from it raw, untreated and easily reopened, and when he speaks up again, his voice is more distant, despite himself.
"When it had come to choosing him or the mission, there was a point when I didn't think I could do it, but when it came down to the moment, it was easier than it probably should have been." Despite the easy connection between Bart and this fictitious brother, oddly enough it wasn't Bart who'd come to mind but Max. He'd never had misgivings about killing his original, but Max...Max had been a struggle. He'd wanted to stay with him more than anything, but when it had come down to it, he'd still nearly killed him. If it hadn't been for Bart, he probably would have. Just thinking about the man made him feel sick with guilt and self-loathing.
"I told myself that even if he didn't deserve it, it would be for a greater good. That in the end, it would undo a wrong greater than the one I was committing." Bart's words from their actual fight still rang in his head though, and they stung just as hard now as they had then. The moment he realized he'd been deceived had left an empty bitter pit in him that still ached no matter how much he ignored it or tried to fill it. He'd thought that confronting his creator, the man behind his mission, would ease that somehow. That it would give him answers, satisfaction, revenge, something, but finding out he was nothing more than a self-serving, corrupt, egomaniac who saw him as a tool, had only made him more bitter, and thinking back to that brought a slice of that sharp bitterness into his voice and expression.
"But it was all for nothing. Apparently, our people aren't worth the price of saving them. If this group can really bring about the end of the universe through, then they can at least have some chance for peace, which is all I care about. And as far as the rest of this universe is concerned, if they're really so self-serving that they can turn their backs to them, then they deserve to share their fate."
no subject
It was to a point that he wondered if that was at least somewhat intentional. He didn't know much about Pidge, or if their shared background matched her at all, but in particular, the bit of their story that involved being forced to kill their own siblings felt as if it hit a little too close to home to just be coincidental. But intentional or not, the closer the deception was to the truth the easier it was to hold up the act, and when they were asked to explain their reason for coming here, it was an easy emotional well to draw from to bring up what the empath would be looking for.
"We managed to escaped from Rizak 7, but-..." He paused, both a little unsure of how to word what needed to be said and honestly wanting to avoid it. After a pause, he decides to press past it for now, even if it only gave him a few extra secants. He keeps his voice soft and measured, his expression unaffected as he spoke up again. "We were supposed to get help from the UP. Get them to listen to us about what was happening there. That was the whole point, the only reason I went through with it. But when they did listen they refused to do anything. Some of the people I spoke with acted as if I should just be grateful we were out, as if the rest of our planet shouldn't matter to me anymore." There's another pause and this time there's no more getting around it. Dredging up thoughts of his attempt on Bart's life hardly took any conscious effort. The moment was still too fresh in his mind, the psychological wounds from it raw, untreated and easily reopened, and when he speaks up again, his voice is more distant, despite himself.
"When it had come to choosing him or the mission, there was a point when I didn't think I could do it, but when it came down to the moment, it was easier than it probably should have been." Despite the easy connection between Bart and this fictitious brother, oddly enough it wasn't Bart who'd come to mind but Max. He'd never had misgivings about killing his original, but Max...Max had been a struggle. He'd wanted to stay with him more than anything, but when it had come down to it, he'd still nearly killed him. If it hadn't been for Bart, he probably would have. Just thinking about the man made him feel sick with guilt and self-loathing.
"I told myself that even if he didn't deserve it, it would be for a greater good. That in the end, it would undo a wrong greater than the one I was committing." Bart's words from their actual fight still rang in his head though, and they stung just as hard now as they had then. The moment he realized he'd been deceived had left an empty bitter pit in him that still ached no matter how much he ignored it or tried to fill it. He'd thought that confronting his creator, the man behind his mission, would ease that somehow. That it would give him answers, satisfaction, revenge, something, but finding out he was nothing more than a self-serving, corrupt, egomaniac who saw him as a tool, had only made him more bitter, and thinking back to that brought a slice of that sharp bitterness into his voice and expression.
"But it was all for nothing. Apparently, our people aren't worth the price of saving them. If this group can really bring about the end of the universe through, then they can at least have some chance for peace, which is all I care about. And as far as the rest of this universe is concerned, if they're really so self-serving that they can turn their backs to them, then they deserve to share their fate."