He doesn't want to think about being with anyone else, he suddenly realizes.
That's not to say that he doesn't still have feelings for Nita. That's the part that's confusing. Especially since he can't say that he has more feelings for Grif than Nita or vice versa. That's just the way he is. There's room in his heart for more than one person. That's what'd made it so hard to decide back when he'd had feelings for both Laura and Nita at the same time.
Except, in the end, Laura really hadn't been the best for him. Too much acting like she was dating him to make her father mad, like she was slumming it or something. Nita was different. Nita saw him as something worthwhile. She'd loved him for being Nova and for being plain ol' Rich Rider.
This is different than Laura and Nita, because Grif is nothing like Laura - he's like Nita. They both inspire the same feelings. That's what he wants, either one. Nita or Grif, and he doesn't want one more than the other.
So it's more about...what fits. What works right now, with him the way he is. And about what happens first, especially with Nita gone.
And of course, about whether either them decide they want him back. He wouldn't blame either of them for seeing him as too downer, as having too much baggage for a healthy relationship, and the problem is he isn't sure that'll ever change.
He doesn't know for sure, how it should go down, and that's why if either of them was to say they wanted to try to work things out, it really would come down to who says it first. That's not opportunism or not wanting to be alone, that's...that's it being them. There's in love there for both of them.
"Yeah. Options." If his heart doesn't sound like it's in it, the idea of being with other people, in general, it just isn't. "I guess it'll all work out somehow."
But he hopes it's only with one of them.
He doesn't let go of Grif's hand. Even as he starts to fall asleep, he holds on.
no subject
He doesn't want to think about being with anyone else, he suddenly realizes.
That's not to say that he doesn't still have feelings for Nita. That's the part that's confusing. Especially since he can't say that he has more feelings for Grif than Nita or vice versa. That's just the way he is. There's room in his heart for more than one person. That's what'd made it so hard to decide back when he'd had feelings for both Laura and Nita at the same time.
Except, in the end, Laura really hadn't been the best for him. Too much acting like she was dating him to make her father mad, like she was slumming it or something. Nita was different. Nita saw him as something worthwhile. She'd loved him for being Nova and for being plain ol' Rich Rider.
This is different than Laura and Nita, because Grif is nothing like Laura - he's like Nita. They both inspire the same feelings. That's what he wants, either one. Nita or Grif, and he doesn't want one more than the other.
So it's more about...what fits. What works right now, with him the way he is. And about what happens first, especially with Nita gone.
And of course, about whether either them decide they want him back. He wouldn't blame either of them for seeing him as too downer, as having too much baggage for a healthy relationship, and the problem is he isn't sure that'll ever change.
He doesn't know for sure, how it should go down, and that's why if either of them was to say they wanted to try to work things out, it really would come down to who says it first. That's not opportunism or not wanting to be alone, that's...that's it being them. There's in love there for both of them.
"Yeah. Options." If his heart doesn't sound like it's in it, the idea of being with other people, in general, it just isn't. "I guess it'll all work out somehow."
But he hopes it's only with one of them.
He doesn't let go of Grif's hand. Even as he starts to fall asleep, he holds on.